a year of getting back in touch.

act one: me
act two: you
act three: everything else

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Reconnecting with Act I Scene I

It is the eve of my transition from body to mind, and I have come to terms with the fact that I am awful at staying up to date. This is my biggest goal for the entire year. To communicate here at least once a day. Whether just a quote or picture or a short novel, I want to use this medium to capture what goes on daily in order to help me process the big picture later on.

This first month flew by and I can hardly believe it is the last day. The first week or two was me adjusting and trying to figure out how to fit it all in, the third week was about me knocking almost everything off my list & feeling incredibly proud, and the last week was about me being so busy I neglected to really keep track of anything on a single day which made me feel guilty and like a failure. There's a Turkish proverb I like that advises "no matter how far you have gone down a wrong road, turn back." I usually have a hard time admitting I've gone off track which means it's a long time before I'll even consider turning around. Well, I'm back on my path and I'm going to try my hardest not to stray again. To stay focused. No promises or guarantee I'll succeed, but hey, that's what this is all about. Trying to learn from my mistakes, to connect with them and move forward in the present.

Here's what I found most important regarding what I learned about my body, image and habits this first month:
  • I need to meditate. Even if it's just five minutes when I wake up and five minutes before bed. My day feels less stressful and I am more capable of handling stressful situations when I begin and end my day in this way, maybe because it helps me pause and breathe when confronted by something unpleasant where I would usually tense up and react. Even my husband felt a difference in my attitude the days I didn't meditate in the morning, which was unbeknownst to him. This is something I want to make a priority.
  • Doing yoga and training for a marathon every day is too much for me. It's exhausting. I wake up resenting all the time I'll spend on these tasks and often waste the morning avoiding doing them, meaning I enjoy them much less. Ideally I'd like to do one or the other each day, though I do want to stretch every day.
  • I can see a visible difference in my complexion when I meditate, drink adequate water and practice my skin care routine (washing with calendula infusion and spraying with rose water). The skin is the largest organ, an outer reflection of what's going on inside. I'd like both to be calm and clear, and would like this to be a priority, as well. 
  • Having a table (we finally bought a big oak dining room table and eight chairs!!!) changes everything. It changes the dynamic of eating. I am less tempted to read or look at the computer while eating, and much much more likely to eat at the same time as my husband, which benefits us both.
  • I can feel a huge difference in energy when I wake up earlier, start the day with juice and take my vitamins.
  • I need to focus on preparing hearty meals and eating a good lunch on the days I work.
  • While enjoy getting to know my body, paying attention to too much detail stresses me out and is counter productive.
  • I am horrible of keeping track of what I eat.
  • I am absolutely awful at keeping this forum updated.
  • I am not ready to complete the 40 days of yoga.
  • With work the way it is, I will never go to bed at a decent hour.
  • I enjoyed taking more care of my appearance. It made me feel more confident, sexy, happy and helped keep my mood up, even the things I was most nervous about (wearing lipstick more often, for example). 
  • The little things add up, and I can be proud of them just as much as the big ones (flossing, taking my vitamins, eating breakfast).
I am extremely proud of myself for starting this project, and excited to see where it leads me. I know I can push myself more and am dedicated to stay committed. I don't know if I feel more connected to my body, but I feel more aware of my habits and aware of my actions, which inspires me daily to take better care of myself.

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